five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
