i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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