I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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