mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
