I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
