why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's never too late to be topless.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
