Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
