I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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