dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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