did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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