dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
