my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
What a dumb baby whore.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
