Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
