Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
