I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
you made out with another girl for some wings
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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