IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
They have beer where we have blood.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
