My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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