Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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