Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I want to fling myself into the sun
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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