Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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