Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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