Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We don't watch enough power rangers
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Let's get the cat blown out
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
