To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
