So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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