i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize