Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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