My room smells like vodka and shame
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
