god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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