Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
