I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Please, let me fuck your mom
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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