just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
