they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
