im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
