I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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