that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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