Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
