i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
