the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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