why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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