just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just had sex on a roof
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
