He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
