I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
