This girl is more easily done than said...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
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Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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