why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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