Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize