I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
