Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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