how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
