Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
