never play flip cup with pint glasses
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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