I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you mean i was at the winter classic?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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