So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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