I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
