i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
