Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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