I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
