Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
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You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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